I've thought of this blog over this past year, thinking I would update and correct some of the things I've written in the past. I've considered taking down the entire blog, and I may. However, for now, should someone who used to read this stumble upon it, I want to share a few things in regard to God and how He has bee so gracious to correct my understanding and teach me what is true, through the Holy Spirit in His Word.
First, I was saved at about the age of 24. When I was saved, I had many people around me who loved me in many practical ways, and for that I am so grateful. However, I didn't have anyone who discipled me in God's Word, meaning no one who sat me down with the bible, and taught me the scriptures-how to interpret and read them.
I wanted to know what was true.
I was in a church where sections of the bible were preached and read. I'm grateful for what I learned, but in the absence of a consistent and systematic study of the scriptures, I searched for teachers and preachers on my own. Unfortunately, everyone I found was either a prosperity preacher/teacher or had other false ideas laced in their teachings. In addition to this, when I was saved, contemporary worship music was a huge part of my life. I am grateful for many of the songs through which I could offer praise to God. I was also a part of a worship team, which I loved. However, laced within some of those songs were false ideas. One false idea is that there is an elusive battle out there somewhere that we are fighting but it's never identified or explained. In scripture, the battle is identified most often with our own flesh. Surely Satan and the world are against God and His children, but repentance for my own sin was something that I needed to learn about.
One correction that I would like to explain is that of "hearing from God" in prayer. I used to think that I would hear from God when good thoughts came into my mind. I wasn't used to having good thoughts, good ideas, or thinking things of God on a regular basis. I was used to self-centered, self-focused living. When I was saved, I had a desire to follow God and His will for my life. I wanted to know what He wanted me to know. When a good thought or idea would come into my mind, I would search out that path. I also read the bible more allegorically. I didn't understand how to read the bible through a literal interpretation-historical-grammatical. This led to a lot of error in my understanding of scripture and in my living.
Most notably, the one thing that I've learned is that I did not have a "vision". One day, while in prayer, a picture of a little boy, a baby, came to my mind. He had dark skin and dark curly black hair. I assumed that because this was a thought I hadn't had, it was a vision. Fast forward to picking up our son, Gabriel, in Ethiopia. He looked much like the baby who came to my mind while I was praying. I understand now that during that time, I was looking at adoption blogs, researching children who were up for adoption, because Jim and I were eager to adopt. I was scrolling children's faces in Guatemala because I assumed we were going to adopt a child from Guatemala. It makes sense now that I would be in prayer and consider all of the sweet little faces I saw. I also searched out names that I thought I "heard". These names were names I likely read several times, in Guatemala and in the bible. I surely believe in the providence of God, that He leads and guides when we don't even know what we're doing. He is gracious to lead us to the truth when we misstep. He sovereignly arranges and orders all the affairs of this world, including my life and the events that have happened. I am grateful and give thanks for our children, every one of them, and how the Lord has made us a family.
I am so grateful for how the Lord has taught me over time, through His Word and faithful men and women of God who have helped me to understand better what was happening according to reality, according to what God says is true in His Word.
So, if you read my blog, were in my life at the time, please don't hesitate to reach out and ask me questions. I am sorry for any confusion I may have caused you in your walk with the Lord. I am sorry, and I ask for your forgiveness.
I am grateful for the hope found in the gospel of Jesus Christ. When we have learned that we have sinned, believed lies, we can turn from our sin and turn to Christ, the perfect Savior, who died for us. We can walk in forgiveness without shame or doubt of forgiveness. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9
God is the God of Truth. (Isaiah 65:16)
The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth. (John 16:13)
Jesus says of Himself that He is the way, the Truth, and life. (John 14:6, 16:13)
We are sanctified (made more Christlike) in the Truth. God's Word is Truth. (John 17:17)
May we seek the truth in all ways and at all times. And when we've believed and unintentionally (or intentionally) lived or spread lies, may we humbly ask our Father for forgiveness and walk in the Truth. He is faithful. He is just. He will forgive. He promises that. And he promises to work all things for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28).
